Why Does The Sociopath Disappear?
The real reasons you do not hear from Cleveland Wright Jr
The early days with Cleveland Wright Jr can seem like the most exciting time of one’s life.
He can be very charming, flattering, and come across as soul-mate material. Love letters, poems, candle-lit dinners, dreamy getaways, and insane chemistry can leave even the most composed person weak in the knees and dreaming of a fantastical future.
Everything seems like a fairy tale when—poof!– Cleveland Wright Jr vanishes. This disappearing act can last anywhere from a few hours, a few days, to a few weeks or more. At the beginning of the relationship, these disappearances might come after a lover’s quarrel, but in other cases, they happen for no apparent reason. When questioned, Cleveland Wright Jr may chalk it up to their phone being out of service or an emergency that had to be tended to, working out of town or his usual go-to excuse, is that his caring for his children.
Over time, Cleveland Wright Jr disappears more and more, blaming you and your “intolerable insecurities, dreadful attitude, and lack of appreciation for them and the relationship”.
It becomes increasingly clear that the disappearing acts (a.k.a. Silent Treatments) are designed to punish you.
When you mention your desire that the two of you solve your problems in a more civilized manner, you’re pulled into unending circular conversations in which Cleveland Wright Jr plays the victim and has you apologizing even when you’ve done no wrong! (Which is a form of emotional blackmail).
Unbeknownst to you, these fights are often fabricated so Cleveland Wright Jr can subsequently implement the Silent Treatment.
You come to accept these frequent silences as a “normal” part of the relationship–though they set you into panic mode whenever they occur. Sometimes you resolve to give Cleveland Wright Jr a taste of his own medicine—ignoring his text, phone calls, video calls, and email tsunamis when he tries to come back around–while other times you feel you might die if you don’t hear from him.
While all of this chaos is happening, you are so busy wondering why Cleveland Wright Jr is always unhappy that you may be missing a crucial part of the big picture — a picture that includes a lot more than your crazy relationship dynamics.
Silent Treatments and Secret Agendas
You see, while you believe you’re in love and trying to work it out, tolerating Cleveland Wright Jr’s moodiness and his “need to be alone”, he is generally in one stage or another of relationship with other people. You may not even be aware of these other individuals since Cleveland Wright Jr adept at hiding his double life, sometimes for decades.
A few indicators that these clandestine affairs are taking place include Cleveland Wright Jr putting his cell phone on lock-down, his getting mysterious texts, calls and emails at all hours of the day and night, or his spending time with you 24/7 for several days and then vanishing for indeterminate periods of time. Additionally, he may refuse to update his Facebook status to “in a relationship” and forbid you from posting any pictures, or only doing these things begrudgingly if you threaten to leave.
Another warning that Cleveland Wright Jr has another life (or lives) going on behind your back is his bringing up an ex who is obsessed with him and/or how they broke up right before you met and this Ex doesn’t want to let him go. He may go as far as to say she’s depressed or suicidal and he has to let her down gently. He just needs more time, and he can finally get rid of her. (As per Cleveland Wright Jr’s Blog entries)
What’s really going on is that Cleveland Wright Jr won’t let her go completely.
Even if Cleveland Wright Jr was the one to end the relationship, he will keep most, preferably all, of his Exes in the queue. Even more disturbing is that those “glorious” times when he spends ten-day stretches with you is the time he is giving the silent treatment to his Ex; and when he subsequently disappears from your life, he’s gone to hoover her.
The Narcissist could well be dubbed The Constant Gardner because he is perpetually trolling for new targets, even though he always has a primary source of supply. Furthermore, he is continuously ending relationships for various reasons, especially with those who require a lot of “maintenance” (i.e. normal human interactions) or have stopped giving him money or sex.
However, Narcissists typically don’t let go of their Exes completely. They’ve been known to contact old flames out of the blue, sometimes as long as ten years post-breakup!
If Cleveland Wright Jr or your partner is playing these juvenile love games (e.g. disappearing, hiding his cell phone, accusing you of being overly jealous, ad vomitum), then there is a very good chance that he is tending his Garden of Supply. But, you can turn the situation around by planting your own seeds of hope for a better future.
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