HAPPY NARCISSIST FREE NEW YEAR
Happy Narcissist Free New Year – 2019!
We Hope this new year brings new beginnings and many blessings. Mostly, that you stay free of negativity, negative influences, and of course, narcissistic abuse. I thought I would review the general traits of pathological narcissism and simple tips for creating healthy boundaries that will shield against these tactics. It’s also important to review action steps for planning to leave an abuser if you determine you’ve been victimized.
Sub clinical, or pathological, narcissism, termed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), is a behavioral disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self, false self-esteem, and arrogance – a lethal combination the narcissist employs to mask a long-held sense of shame derived from trauma.
*Gaslight – Make victims believe everything they think or feel is crazy
*Hoover – Never go away completely, even after ties are severed
These sadistically abusive methods are meant to instil fear in victims and wear those in the narcissist’s intimate space down to total dependency. For this reason, narcissists are primarily attracted to especially sensitive and empathetic individuals who have themselves been weakened by trauma. Whether they’ve been clinically diagnosed or not, these individuals are likely to be codependent and easily influenced. They are, conversely, attracted to power, control and dominance, which makes the pairing extremely toxic and likely to continue until something happens that flips a prophetic switch inside the victim and causes him or her to realize things need to change.
The narcissist is unable to let go of a willing participant, and because of this, it is typically ultimately up to an abuse victim to identify that the behaviors are inappropriate and break the cycle. Often, it takes the persuasive influence of friends and family members concerned for the individual’s well-being, or the opinion of an objective outsider, to point out red flags and convince the victim to leave. Children of narcissistic parents trapped in abusive homes are at the mercy of time and can spend years under the thumb of their abuser before they are either old enough to choose to leave or the inner workings of the relationship are finally brought to light, and they are removed from the home.
If you feel you’ve been victimized, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Many, many others have, unfortunately, experienced the mind-numbing tactics of a sadistic narcissist. There are listening ears and resources to help you move on with your life. There is life beyond the narcissistic trap, and it is possible to break free.
First of all, it is important to note a narcissist…
Hates to be called out – this creates narcissistic injury, or exposes internal shame, and makes the abuser determined to “break,” or completely destroy, the offender.
Cannot be forgotten or disregarded – Hence, the continued hoovering.
Cannot be “one upped” – They have to be the best at everything at all times and will become determined to squash any potential competition (whether valid or not).
Before you leave, it is important to…
Take your time (if you can) and plan carefully.
Establish a strong support system you can confide in.
Take steps before you take steps – pack a back and keep it at a friend or family member’s, gather important documents, know where you’re going in advance and how to cover your tracks.
Never, never, never underestimate narcissistic retaliation.
Keep emergency numbers handy at all times and don’t be afraid to pick up the phone.
Make a list of shelters in your area if you need somewhere safe to stay temporarily.
Involve the authorities immediately if needed.
A narcissist-free existence is possible. And, it is beautiful. You do not have to stay trapped. Make a new year’s resolution to take back your life!
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
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Happy New Year to you all!!! Continue to stay no contact with these ungodly creatures! They are not walking in the holy spirit, Have nothing to offer you and bring nothing to the table.
Happy New Year Christina! ?
It was a bit hard for the holidays because this narc, before I realised what was going on, isolated me in a completely different state from my family and friends, so it has been a bit difficult it’s not easy for me to jump in the car to visit others right now and he is withdrawn actually discarded as I have expressed with him what I was catching on to.
happy holidays x x x
Card has arrived …..unopened, straight to the bin ?? HAPPY HOOVER cards should be made available…clearly a gap in the market…???
LOL! A Good Idea ?♀️
Ha! Yes! I began watching this story during 3 months of dating this narc from an online dating site and you helped me make a decision to break away. I remember when you first exposed him and how he made CAB out to be the crazy one. I thought he was psycho and maybe he was and a narc. I did no contact and found a old message on a phone number we first started talking on months later with a message. I sent him one back saying I knew he was sick narc and to never contact me again. I really don’t want to hear from him and know he will try it coming this holiday season thinking he’ll try my better nature! Nope! The longer that sort of vampire evil type person is out of your life the better and more level thinking you become and allow room for normal healthy realationships. Narcs are everywhere in all walks of life. I think you have to meet one bad narc to determine the illness and to learn how to deal when confronted with them and realise the manipulative ways and how easily you can become controlled and abused and lose yourself to these souls. Keep strong no contact! Happy New Year! ?
Hey Toronto CA,
Happy New Year!!! I hope it was a good one? ?
You are sooooo lucky… You dodged a bullet on that POS. Good for you!!!
My whole scenario was crazy, from the love bombing, the devalue stage, to the hoovering and then I discarded him as the whole thing was F*ucked Up!!! I educated myself on Narcissism and Cluster B Personalities, so now I am more aware of the signs and RED FLAGS when I come across these type of assholes… Even today, when I think back on our pretend friendship, I don’t even know the guy. I’m so blessed that his out of my life. ?
Be careful out there as The Real Cleveland Wright Jr becomes more active during the winter months. His usually unemployed around this time, too lazy to travel and find work, sits on dating sites all day having virtual relationships with women he has no intention on meeting, stalks, looking for that lady who will give him a hand out as he has no money, watches porn all day, and masturbates with women on social media.
He is just like all the other Narcissists you read about… I’ve messaged you! ?
LOL… Sounds like my narc. Dating sites are their play ground, its amazing how many are on those sites once you’ve experienced a narcissist… They are sick people…
Thank you for bringing this scumbag to our attention. I have friends on those sites, so I’m sharing this site.
Man I figured much.. No hoovering until now.. I thought it was related to the Holiday’s.. Smh..
Yessss! Narcissists are very active during the holiday season. Be careful out there! ?
Thanks first New Year of freedom, hooray!
All the best Chloe on your New Found Freedom ?
They be narcin
You guys are helping/saving so many people! Staying Strong through No Contact… He texted with a new number after 3wks no contact. I told him that I knew what he was now and I don’t want him anymore… That was 1 month ago. Haven’t heard from him since. His Bday is next week and I actually DON’T CARE!! A new year with new beginnings. 2019 will be Socio/Narc Free ?
Narcissists always have multiple numbers or once exposed they will always obtain a new number. ?
WE’RE BACK!!!! Stronger, Confident and a lot more SASS!!! ?
A New Year, New Beginnings, New Adventures, and Narc Free.
Thank You For Your Support ?
I did flee, so I’m now free. I have glee, and have no fleas! I’m in a good mood ‘cuz I haven’t dealt with the cult in years! Happy Holidays, everyone. Don’t let the narcs bring you down. ??⛄?
It’s Funny how a New Year brings out more motivation in us!!!
Happy New Year! ?
Actually they fear that you are going to do better than them. So they devalue you. They envy you. The covert hoover is showing already. Mr Nice Dad is ‘in da house’ when he’s picking up the children for his visitation day.
Everyone is already doing better than a Narcissist.
They live everyday in darkness.
LOL! Yes, Narcissists make out to everyone that they’re such a good Fathers but we know the truth. ?
So, did anybody notice that a narcissist basically has the seven deadly sins? They have all the negative qualities of these characteristics: false pride, arrogance, envy, greed and gruttony (always want more, never satisfied), sloth (too lazy to take responsibility and change), wrath (the narcissistic rage) and finally lust (a lot of them are sex addicts or have other addictions)… they accepted the deal with the devil, promised them all the good stuff on earth and all the love and attention/appreciation of the people, but didnt tell them that he is going to destroy their soul… thats kind of creepy
OMG! I started chatting to this guy from a dating site not so long ago. All he would chat about was this crazy girl from my country. the chats were all about him and this crazy girl. After reading your blog I now believe he manipulated me in to stalking her online and report back to him with information. SICK AF! I’ll be blocking him on the dating site. i knew something wasn’t right. All the best for 2019!!!
Hi South OZ!
LOL! All you have to do is sit back and watch it all unfold. I didn’t have to say anything as this Narcissist made himself look like a fool and did the damage to himself.
I can guarantee you, he still stalks me today along with his other girlfriends and flying monkeys stalking me. All Narcissists do, they can’t help themselves as they can’t believe they’re not the Centre of your Universe.
I’ve messaged you!!!
i’ve shared this website on my social media pages…… keep up the exposing ? happy new year to y’all
Thank You For The Support Vikings Fan!
It’s the Holiday time and those Monster’s Love to Hoover around this time, That Mongrol spotted me coming from my Mother’s house the other Day in his work truck had the nerve to pull over and park and blow his horn. I had on my shades so that beast couldn’t see my eye movement I kept walking to my car and didn’t respond to that Monster! Do not give any response to those Gargoyle’s! Everyone stay Narc Free And Happy Holiday’s Everyone!
The best thing I’ve ever done is to be content and stable on my Own. I can now stay on good terms with everyone on a healthy basis. ??
Happy New Year Sweeties! Thanks for the Skype Chat today!
Yea they’ll try to weasel their way back into your circle during the holidays with some slick bulls*** talk. just continue on like you’ve been doing the holidays are no different from any other day. the dagger that scorns them is when you ignore them. NO REACTION NO RESPONSE NOTHING ? NARC FREE ZONE. ✌️
Once you know the signs and the game they play, a narcissist next move becomes predictable.
‘ NO REACTION NO RESPONSE NOTHING ? NARC FREE ZONE. ✌️’
My ex hated holidays… he said he hated Christmas… he was so miserable to be around during that time of year, he would just complain about everything ? hes totally blocked but who knows, I’m sure hes still secretly watching as we speak…. Hi hoe, bye hoe ? lmao. My life has become so much more peaceful and abundant since I left him (emotionally, spiritually, even more financial opportunities) 5 months no contact. Thanks so much to you all!! And Happy Holidays to everyone, I hope you enjoy a peaceful time of year away from toxic people and around those who uplift your spirit and share an energy of love and light with you xo❤??
They just want to ruin ur holidays, cause you ruined theirs by leaving their demonic asses. Stay strong✊✊
You Said It ☝️?
They want to mess with your head to try and ruin your holidays. Don’t fall for it. Play your end of the game, for in the end, it is all a game. Educate yourself to be a better player in the game. Always checking for your temperature. Aka heat check. Dont let “them” win. With the education you can beat them at their own game. ⬆️⬆️ We know whose #winning POWER to the SURVIVORS ?
I’m hearing you Monique ?
Level Up ?
Its unfortunate for whomever is involved with a narcissist that stories and comments here are 100% right, they get your hopes up thinking that they return because they finally realized that you matter to them just to end up with your hopes crushed when you clearly see that they do it just to feed their stupid blown up ego. They don’t change, they just want you overlook their bs and continue like nothing. This is very damaging to a person’s spirit. It would only keep you longer attached to their merry go round of bs.
Yes, you are so right. I fell for it right before Thanksgiving. He messaged me that Monday asking to see me. I agreed. He messaged me til Friday then disappeared & haven’t heard from him since. Never seen him either. I think I have learned my lesson this time. I have spent too many times crying my eyes out over him for nothing. I have finally accepted what he is & that it was all fake & lies. ? thanks for everything
It takes time Rhona.
We’re all here to help each other…
Start No Contact as it’s the only way to stop the craziness and start the healing process. For your own peace of mind.
Stay Strong! ?
How amazingly accurate!!!! Great topic, thanks!! Narcissists tend to kick in the full hoovering spirit because they low on Narcissistic supply and they know many SURVIVORS, especially those freshly discarded or randomly ghosted, and/or being stonewalled with silent treatments are vulnerable! We begin to reminisce of the times we’ve spent. Our love, compassion, honesty was real. These individuals lack empathy and compassion of a healthy relationship. Simply put… THEY ARE PREDATORS, emotional vampires who are simply hoovering to “suck” us dry. Physically, financially, emotionally, sexually, mentally! As long as they are benefiting from our storage being depleted. Be strong! Know that you get a chance to create lasting memories with people who truly appreciate, love, and adore us! Enjoy your holidays!!!
Thank you Emma! ?
block all ways of communication, even if they find away block them however they have contacted you or if you cant dont respond. the key is to accept what they are and that there is no going back. leave no hope, leave no longing or love or any other emotion in your heart or mind, no what ifs or could bes! they ruined any chance of that when they did what they did to you! im completely repulsed by my narc the thought of him calling,texting or being anywhere near me my daughter or our unborn child makes me sick to the stomach i will never let him back in anyway! i will never trust or have love for the narc again! he ruined that with everything he has done and said and the hurt he has caused! thats how to defeat them! to not need or want them around!
He discarded the new supply and Hoovered me Sunday via the fake profile. Ignored.
Holidays never fail with the hoover attempts. I always always hear from my ex. Just last week: “Hows my son?” Fine. “And you?” The crickets are still chirping a week later. ?
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