Does Cleveland Wright Jr Know What He Is Doing Is Wrong?
YES! Narcissists do know what they are doing is wrong. If they didn’t they would not try and hide their unfair hurtful and abusive behavior. How else would they employ the use of the tactics they use so skillfully!
They use tactics to hide what they truly are, you simply cannot use tactics to blame some one else for the behavior if you are not aware of your actions.
They can easily switch off their false self to their true self at the flip of the switch. How else do you think the narcissist can easily go from demeaning and belittling you, to charming you when someone walks in the room?
Narcissists are truly GREAT MANIPULATORS.
They can lie, cheat, treat you badly and some how to manage to make it all seem to like it’s your fault. Don’t fall for it, that’s just what they do. They are a case of arrested development. They live in the mindset of a child. Like a child, THEY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG but choose to do wrong when they can get away with it.
They are determined to remain children who always get their way and like all spoiled brats who control everyone by temper tantrums and bad behavior they only get worse with the more, they get away with.
They are notorious for placing blame on other people and not on themselves. Even when they clearly and definitely did something wrong, they cannot and will not ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. They almost always deflect the blame somewhere else. Narcissists IGNORE their contribution to the situation or insist that the other person made them do it.
When you confront the narcissist about their abusive behaviors, their telling lies, their cheating, or anything else they do to hurt others, THEY WILL FOCUS ON YOUR REACTION TO THEIR OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOR, DRAWING ATTENTION AWAY FROM THEIR OWN CONDUCT AND PUTTING THE FOCUS ON YOU INSTEAD.
Narcissist’s know exactly what they are doing, they just cannot allow something bad to be their fault. It is another manifestation of their supreme SELF CENTREDNESS as well as a PROTECTION FOR THEIR FRAGILE EGO. It is also a primitive method of avoiding external repercussions.
They’ve got it all worked out, pushing good people to their very limit. Knowing very well that you have a breaking point and when the narcissist succeeds as they so often do, they sit back and watch as you crack under the pressure and torment. You have been deeply hurt, isolated and misunderstood. The narcissist knows your reaction will direct attention away from him/her.
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I have gotten into actual arguments, regarding this but this is the one iron fist I am not letting go of no matter how much the truth hurts people. There are victims who are unaware narc enablers and NPD’s alike who are preaching this complete and utter horseshit that they do not know what they are doing is wrong.
None of them understand what consciousness actually means.
Nobody puts a gun to their head to treat certain people horribly, abuse others, idealise them devalue them, and the fact that the self aware ones can intricately describe this process and understand this cycle means they are fully aware and conscious of it.
Being in the present moment has nothing to do with them not being consciously aware what they do. At the end of the day NPD’s can still have very high intelligence and they can process this basic information and know how to make choices. This is not dementia or an uncontrollable twitch, hearing voices like schizophrenia etc this is a disorder where people can still make conscious choices.
They are idiotic and vile certainly emotionally wise and how they hurt people but even i would not say all of them lack in the intelligence department. Some have extremely high IQs exceeding that of most people.
This is why some NPD’s choose to get therapy while others don’t.
Being in a social setting, they are consciously aware to put on a mask and not abuse everyone and anything in public. They are making a deliberate choice to not do that. Equally the same if they are abusing someone else regardless of if they deserve it.this would be impossible to happen if it’s totally random and uncontrollable
Their disorder influences this no doubt but it’s still not remotely the same as saying NPD’s don’t know what they are doing and are not conscious or aware when they do so.
The one i was involved with actually at one point blank subliminally admitted he knew exactly what he was doing to me he just did not care. He knew he could choose to stop the abuse but he did not. It is a choice.
I told him to envision someone else treating his mother or sister in the same exact way he was treating me and he flew into a violent rage. They are the only women he cares about. He knew exactly what he was doing and that’s why he went into a rage as he enraged how he wouldn’t tolerate it happening to them.
It’s this bullshit of them not being at fault due to them not knowing what they are doing is what causes victims to get trapped.
Narky gets pissed off that his gf insulted him and he violently abused her in momentary anger. He knows it’s wrong to beat someone up, but momentarily he doesn’t care. Later on he remembers this happening when he is calm again and objectively he still knows terrorizing and abusing someone is wrong. It’s why he wouldn’t dare show himself doing that in public or do that to others at work for insulting him either. He justifies beating or verbally abusing his gf up because it is isolated and he wants control. He makes it ok in his mind after that and in fact he plans to discard her for the bombshell hot younger blonde he met in the bar the other day. He finds the perfect time to do it …to discard his gf on her birthday for the ultimate pain.
4 things here.
1. He knows the cause and effect of what beating someone does even if he did it in momentary anger without thinking about it in that present moment. This is because he has the intellectual capacity to remember the past present and future and tie his actions to the result. He has NPD not dementia..
2. He understands beating someone up is ‘wrong’ by society and objectively speaking. He plays the nice saint in public so nobody knows. He would not beat other people up in public. Means he deliberately is capable of making the choice to beat someone up vs not beating them/abusing them. He can therefore control himself if he truly had to and benefited him.
3. He understands how his gf cries and is in pain from him because he sees clearly her reactions. He does not care though and is in denial that he did anything wrong , but he objectively knows it is still wrong.
4. He knows her birthday is coming up. He finds this the perfect opportunity to dump her because he knows this will maximise the pain, knows it’s her special day and that it’s to teach her a lesson not to cross him again.
This proves he can preplan events, and systematically calculates it to maximize the pain, therefore understanding EXACTLY what they are doing.
Thank you for allowing me access to the open chat today. I needed this. Rant Over!
Thank You for Sharing! Always good to have a Rant ? ?
I think it’s the tactics of control. They control those closest to them, in private, because one person at a time can be manipulated and gas-lighted (‘gas-lit?), eg “What do you mean? I didn’t say that!” or “It was your fault, you drove me to it” One, controlled person, who has no-one to debrief with (“Did that really just happen? What do *you* think?) doesn’t challenge their self-identity as a Good Guy. They can be told what to believe. Acting the saint, the charmer, the generous, calm, caring pillar-of-the-community in front of others gives the public image of the good guy, which is what they seek. It also deepens their control over their victim by making it very hard for the victim to talk about the abuse. Who’s going to believe them when ‘everyone knows he’d never do anything like that?’
They need validation for their egos all the time. I am guessing at one stage, as children, their parents and siblings must have realised the child is abnormal. So now they are forever trying to prove them wrong. They are masking around their families all the time.
They choose one person to be the most vile too as that person has probably not seen through them yet. That person got sucked into their games and lies, because they are good, strong people who have the ability to care and love. It is very hard to think that a human being can be that evil if you are a normal person. That is why they can damage you so badly
I think he is quite correct to tell you something takes over when he abuses you. They have demons in them. Think about their personality traits: lying, conniving, cheating, inability to love, no conscience. Whose personality traits are those? Satans. He is described as the deceiver and the father of lies, incapable of love, hates humans.
They are actually forever doomed, very sad empty people.
Thank you for contributing Eliza ?
I completely agree. I believe that My ex narc even delighted in the fact that he could be so calculated and manipulating. I saw this many times during my marriage and was always cringingly fascinated by his callousness to others.
Of course I made excuses for him believing that a successful person must be calculating if he were to maintain his status. I believe it made him feel smarter and more powerful.
When I left him and started the divorce process, he was quite injured. By injured I mean raging mad. I’d caught him cheating. Being a powerful and well known man in our community, the thought of his image being destroyed by what I might say left him desperate, seething and frighteningly threatening.
He began a massive smear campaign on me that I was not even aware of until I heard stories of it from friends and acquaintances. To say the least I was baffled and speechless that he’d turned the tables on me.
All lies to protect his image against anything I might have told someone. I was extremely hurt with the knowledge of his infidelities. In fact, if he’d of just an ounce of remorse I’d of probably gone back. He’d call and threaten me. And tell me that I better play nice or he’d hurt me or my family. He told me through clenched teeth “do not challenge me in the divorce. I always win. You know that. I ALWAYS WIN”.
A phrase I’d heard many times during our 22 years together. And a phrase Id hear again after the birth of my granddaughter. The first contact I would have after many months that he took as an opportunity to Hoover.
Actually taking the time to apologize and even admit his indiscretions in front of my daughter and son n law when he came to see the baby. It was As if he confessed I’d suddenly feel compassion for him. Which I foolishly did for a short while until I saw his true self through his actions with other close people in his life.
Even through a very serious life threatening event, he was cold and calculating. To say the least, I’d seen and felt his narcissistic ways for so many years And once you see this, you can’t unsee it. He’d say a bit later after I was ready to date and was seeing someone “ Just come back to me. I’ll get you back, because you know, I always win”.
I didn’t and he hasn’t with me anyway. He still tries to make contact about once a month. But I never respond. He’s just somebody I used to know……and not someone I’d ever want to know again.
Group Session was great today. So many sad stories, but it was uplifting. Keep them coming x x x
It is a sad fucked up tragedy that we get involved with these damaged beings..all we can do is leave. How long has it been and he still sends u those emails to hoover you ?hasn’t he moved on to someone else other supplies ?
It is! I left in June of ‘14. I had no contact after the first couple months because of threats and stalking. And the obligatory meetings with attorneys. Divorce was final February ‘15. I then went no contact until the baby was born in September ‘15. That was also the time he told me he was dying unless he got a new lung. (Which he did,) He apologized and confessed his sins so to speak and I took pity on him. I was still very much in love with him and wanted to believe so badly. We stayed in contact and ‘dated’ for about six months. It was not exclusive. He plainly told me that it wouldn’t be unless I committed to coming back. But then, it had never been exclusive even when we were together those many years so down deep I knew it never would be. He’s always had many at any given time. But one main one that he hand picks to make him look like the saintly figure he displays to the public. His main supply right now is a retired school teacher. But I know for a fact (from him) that he cares nothing about her (I questioned him after one of his attempts to get me to leave the country with him for six months, reminding him of his ‘girlfriend’. “She will be there when we get back” (a rare glance into the truth of this mans twisted mind) Then he replied “ I care nothing for her. She’s just convenient.” Adding that he has many (young) women… mostly strippers. That he cannot be seen with in the public. He texts or emails regularly about once a month. “Oh I thought I just saw you in your Rover”, OR “ Happy Birthday” or or or…..He still has obligations concerning our divorce or I’d of blocked him completely. Doesn’t matter though. I do not respond to him in any way. I don’t really think he sincerely wants me back for the reasons people would like to believe. No, he’d like me back to 1) show his sphere that ‘see I wasn’t that bad of a guy or do those things that people are still talking about or why would she have come back to me’ and 2) get revenge and complete the discard on me the way it was intended.
You cannot believe a word these people say! There is nothing sincere. Nothing authentic. I’m very grateful that I’m very happy and that I’ve been able to find someone that has a genuine beating heart.
And let me add: he has never asked about or seen his step children that he was a part of for 22 years. The granddaughter that he so desperately wanted to see after I left him. The other granddaughter and grandson that he claimed to love so much. Not once. Not a call. Not a message. Nothing. If he cares so much about me or even not cared so much for me, I have asked myself, why has he not contacted the kids?
Everything they are, say, and do is a lie………
Yes it is, it’s a sick game, but rest assured this is a black mark on their soul. If I know one thing, I do know that. A strange among us that is for sure who knows every single move he makes and so do I. What a way to live.
I also agree. In fact this conscious behaviour is the most abhorrent thing about them. They CHOOSE to emotionally abuse and manipulate people who they claim to love. That is evil and boy must they build up some seriously bad karma.
We’re here to help each other. Thank You! ?
Yes! Thank you for writing this.
Especially covert narcs. They are cunning enough to make sure the abuse is insidious and behind closed doors. They are self aware enough to know they need to bullshit everyone around them into thinking they are Mr Nice Guy in case a victim speaks out about their abuse. They put on a mask to the world so their true selves – which they are fully aware of – is not seen by the public cos they know it is wrong! They would not lie and cover up what they are doing and defend their actions and invest in bullshit smear campaigns if they didn’t think what they were doing was abhorrent to everyone else.
They have no issue with what they are doing. They do not think what they do is wrong. They simply know that it is not accepted by society. They will be looked at with disgust and disdain and their fragile little egos will be bruised without the constant smoke being blown up their asses. They cannot stand being told off. Being told they are wrong. They believe they have every right to treat people like shit and torture and abuse them.
ugh these evil vile creatures ….
Becuase there are hoards of narc enablers and narcissists and sadly actual victims who are misinformed and feel sorry for these fucks and they preach that they do not not know what they are doing
All lies and ignorance. I crush it all and I get tons of hate messages but I do not care
I preach the truth because people need to know how insidious this is
I agree 100%. I support you. Keep spreading the truth. x
Posted this on FB ?
Keep Preaching Janet! It’s the only way to educate the victims and for them to understand WTF is happening. ✌️
Nice chatting with you today ?
Or deceive people into thinking they are Miss Nice Girl. Yes, there are female narcissists and abusers too. I have a female family member who exhibits some of the characteristics of narcissism and BPD.
Thank you for this post. Do you know why they choose to break down one person, and be completely calm, masked with others? What differs them? It says that narcs need admiration or attention, but still why his family is important even if they don’t give him this, and his girlfriend for example is bullied instead? What pleasure he gains from bullying, like control?
Mine said that when he screams at me (abuses), he feels like he can’t completely control himself in this moment, he’s aware, but he’s watching like from outside, and there is some other person (alter ego) in control. He says that after abuse when he’s calm, he feels like only 20% guilty, because it wasn’t really him, but the other guy gets 80%. So if he’s getting frustrated, mad, angry, upset, that other defensive personality switch at once, and in that moment he can’t really do anything but watch. I don’t know, it’s hard for me to understand it, maybe it’s just hard to comprehend, cause I’m not same sick as him. Still, that defensive personality doesn’t switch when he’s with his family and they bully him, cause that’s how he got that trauma. So what’s really making them decide who to confront and whom not? Why he choose to be bare to them and completely defensive with me? They also say that for narcissist everything is about status, but family doesn’t give him any status, and still he wants to be approved by them. I’m really curious how it works.
To be honest the why’s will never end. What can end though is to silence all that by you leaving him forever. Toss these toxic shits out of your life
Unfortunately there’s no closure or answers
I’m sorry, but that’s not what I asked. And I did left, what I’m studying now more like out of curiosity, not in order to really understand him or influence him. I don’t want to talk to him because it’s all the same, but I’m still curious what kind of logic/impulse/reason or whatever would make him do that way. It’s not for closure, I already got my closure, it’s more like studying an alien, it’s just interesting, especially if you got experience of interacting with it.
I understood exactly what you meant but unfortunately there’s not really a true way to know that. We can always continue to speculate but at some point I feel like it’s pointless in it hurts when those answers are not completely concrete.
I went through the same thing you described.
The narcissist hid me away and treat me horribly but now shows off the new supply to everyone. He gets along Great with his family and in fact his mother and sister are the only woman he seems to really care about. Whenever he talked about his family it is the only time I saw his eyes light up.
Maybe this is all fake who knows. the only thing I can think of is because family is unconditional and therefore them forever but partners are not. This is what the narcissist said to me anyway. About everyone else is replaceable and will betray him. I still cannot understand and I gave him concrete examples of how he can treat me that way yet would be angry if someone treated his sister the same way.
He would just violently verbally abuse me and say fuck you you are not my sister. Or.. duh she is my sister and you are nothing. Too cruelly excuse everything
But again I can never really be accurate to try to assume with a mentally disordered person really thinks.
without knowing your situation I could not answer that for you either.
it’s one of the toughest things when dealing with this.
Not having closure and never been able to understand why they did something.
I think it’s because they seek validation in the ways that they know how whether it is from family or Friends. And the case of the one I was involved with I think family was his only safe place. Losing his entire family I think will make him a collapsed narcissist.
Yeah it’s not same. He didn’t hide me, more like opposite, used me to get respect from family. The family didn’t want to talk to him at all, and they were completely silent in family dinners and so on, no one liked him there and no one told him why. Still he would look for their approval, never spoke anything against them, even if they laughed all together at him and he would hurt. But he would still defend them if I would say against them and tried to protect him, and he didn’t bother to verbally abuse me, but was silent in family circle.
Still thanks for your response, it gave me some hints about some other person I know, who’s not NPD, but quite narcissistic in behavior, or I guess just so called toxic.
I was saying it’s the same in reference to what you originally wrote. Seeking validation from family but abusing the gf or partner etc since that’s what I thought you meant.
And highly narcissistic is not the same as npd so definitely will have diff things to assume and think about
What is wrong with what the narcissist is doing? Nothing, darling, nothing is wrong with the tricks or the treats, it’s all in fun. The narcissist only wants some fun. You can’t dappen that, my love. You want to hold him to a higher accountability? You want a moral code? Come on now, that’s a strict lifestyle, teetering a fine line of consciousness. That’s not fun. You can lead that boring life. Wake up to the same damn person everyday. Go for it. That’s not going to happen to him. He requires excitement and you require boring. His brain can’t have the same damn thing everyday, that’s now how he plays this game of life. He needs challenges and he requires fun. It’s halloween here, darling. He’s going to costume up and chase for tricks or treats.
Wrong is an opinion that your brain has because you have a gravitational pull from your conscience and moral code, that’s hard wired into your being. He is the byproduct of neglect. When an infant is neglected the hard wiring is altered. He has no gravitational pull towards any moral code or any person on this earth. He is an island of his very own. An isolated man, who can’t form attachments to other humans. He is forever forced to chase the fun and excitement, the tricks and treats. You don’t have to like it. You may not understand it. However, he can’t go back in time and recreate a gravitational pull to caring about people beyond himself.
He definitely knows what he is doing is something that you consider wrong. However, without the ability to feel empathy he simply doesn’t care. He doesn’t wake up with all the regret you think he should. His feelings are not wide range like yours, my love. His feelings are broken and he only has a few left. He can feel anger, rage, contentment and excitment. He can feel fun. He can’t feel love though, he can’t feel that empathy. It’s difficult to understand but you need to wrap your brain around the fact that he is not attached to this world the same way you are. You need to feel loved and connected to others. He doesn’t need others at all. He needs only fun and excitement. It’s all about him. None of his choices were ever about you at all. Put that man on his island and go live your life on the mainland. Let him costume up and go for tricks and treats.
‘No’ they don’t know what they’re doing is wrong.
Because 50% of what a narcissist does is hide. (The other 50% is malice). They hide their malicious intentions from you, so that (they hope) you can never know why they did those hurtful things. Or that they actually want to do those things again.
And they also hide their malicious intentions from their conscience, so that (they hope) their conscience gives them a clean bill of health. Someday their conscience dies and they’ll have one less to hide things from.
Lastly, they hide their malicious intentions from conscious awareness. They strive their entire lives to be absolutely unaware of every and any single malicious thought or sadistic feeling that pops up, such that (they can hope to tell themselves that) they never think or feel anything nasty, and that they only think benevolent, butterfly thoughts. Beware of anyone who says they never hate anyone.
They hide so well and so hard, that they have successfully hidden from themselves. They are unaware of their own thoughts and emotions. They have alexithymia. They have short-circuited brains that don’t process things. A person with alexithymia doesn’t know what they are feeling. A brain that’s short-circuited doesn’t really think (it just pretends to).
The narcissist is absolutely convinced they always act without malice. Hence they cannot understand themselves or their own motivations.
So it’s not just an excuse when they protest that they didn’t mean it. They have even hidden their intentions from themselves. They don’t know what they intend (yet somehow, even without conscious deliberate intentions, they can consistently inflict abuse, abuse just happens, it’s like sweating).
Hogwash, you cannot perform certain complex sequences of actions without intent, and the more frequently you perform them, the less convincing your lies. You cannot unintentionally drive to the grocery store and buy groceries every single week, 52 times a year. Likewise, abuse is a complex set of actions that cannot happen by accident, no matter how plausibly deniable it is covertly, expertly hidden. Singular accidents happen without intention. Abuse cannot happen without intention, because it’s too frequent (and complex and strategic).
YES they know what they are doing is wrong.
Because why hide so hard if there’s nothing worth hiding? What do people hide, their benevolence and goodwill or their malice? What do you want most to hide from the world, your inner beauty or your inner putrefaction?
If you borrowed some money, strove to forget about it, and then actually succeeded, did you never borrow the money? What if you did this one thousand more times?
People and animals who are hiding don’t announce that they are hiding.
What makes narcissists different from animals is that they even hide the intent to hide from themselves, such that they ‘don’t know’ that they are hiding. I can discern at least three layers of onion here.
The very fact that they are hiding means they were always up to something all along.
Wow. Thank you for answering THIS question. Reading your words stuck a deep chord in me several times through.
That part about how they just sit back and wait while they keep pushing you and things to the point that would crack almost anyone under the pressure and torment…(and they do all this so nobody else knows but just you and them). Its your own personal version of being isolated and trapped in hell on earth. I know that kind of pushing, that kind of pressure, and reaching a cracking point.
You’ve written an answer I dont ever want to forget.
? Thank You! There are some great answers on this discussion ☝️
100% agreed and great answer!
Yes and no. They do not feel that their approach to life is wrong. It is their only perceived means of survival, like a person who has to steal to get drugs does not think of the ethics behind what they do, only that it is a means to an end. Narcissists are like cornered animals doing anything they can to keep the supply going.
Narcissists do know that the lying, cheating, manipulation, mind games etc is wrong. There is no social hierarchy, only levels of good or bad supply, and they gain satisfaction in equally tearing down people who love or challenge them. They know what they are doing is not acceptable to normal society. But feeling they’ll get nothing out of life if they show their true colors, they will expend their rage and envy in passive aggressive acts and sadistic mental and physical abuse toward their victims. Then they spin the tale to make these people out to be the aggressors. So, yes, they are keenly aware of what they do. They just don’t care about anyone but themselves.
Their entire life is a self-fulfilling prophecy to create situations which will provoke their abandonment — their greatest fear. They do this because they believe in the end everyone will leave.
If someone lies and leaves out crucial things that change the whole dynamic, just so they can look like the hero or the good person means…
They know what they did is wrong.
They did it intentionally.
It wasn’t an accident.
Total 100% awareness.
Them saying any differently is again a manipulation tactic to convince and play you. This adds again to their false sense of superiority.
They have no empathy, they do not care one bit how it feels to be you. You or I do not matter unless we have something of use to them. They care as much about you as a coat or a pair of shoes. We have a purpose until we don’t for them.
It’s not only they won’t admit it. Yes they find it impossible to admit things, yet they see no reason to anyway. It gains them nothing.
They know what they are doing! Research and previous and current victims have proved it.
Thank You for your comment Tim ?
A person with narcissistic personality disorder can have the ability to look at a situation and know on a cognitive, logical level that what they are doing is “wrong”. For example they can know logically that robbing a bank is wrong according to the standards that society has set; they can know that it is illegal. The problem is, they do not care. Meeting their own needs trumps the fact that something is “wrong.” Whether they think it is wrong on a personal, individual level or not, they know that it is “wrong” on a more general level. They just don’t care that it is wrong. But typically speaking, yes, narcissists know that certain things are wrong, it just makes no difference. Either the rules don’t apply to them, they above the conventions of society, they are justified – whatever their rationalizations are. But they know.
They know exactly what they are doing to you! They just believe they have a right to do it, and they have no empathy for you. In their sick minds, you deserve what they are doing, and they get a kick from feeling powerful. They want to trick you, and others, into believing that they are innocent (by playing the victim) and making you (and others) feel like you are a terrible person.
Don’t trust them. Don’t try to fix them. Just get away from them. They don’t want you to help them because they don’t see that they have a problem. Still they know what they are doing is objectively wrong. They just don’t care. Just because they take no responsibility for their actions doesn’t mean they think what they’re doing is the right thing to do… They convince themselves you deserve the torment, and then they will try to convince you that you are the problem so that you will be more likely to put up with their behaviour. After all, they always play the victim and make everything about them, often blaming you for their actions and suffering! They are emotionally immature and extremely disturbed psychologically!
Go no contact. Be safe, and be happy. Look after yourself and don’t feel like you owe the narcissist anything because you don’t. ❤️
My ex-wife covert narc said she was wrong ALL the time…. (when I caught her and she could not weasel her way out of shit.
If you were honest and did nothing wrong why would you lie?
If you did nothing wrong and you were not trying to hide something why would you lie?
Yes 100% they know that they are wrong that’s exactly why they LIE! Hell we LIE because we know we are WRONG!
There is a huge difference in the lies we tell. People lie, shit happens. There are obviously different levels of lying. If you lied to your significant other about the chicken she made was good when it was actual dry as hell…. I mean it was a lie to be nice and not hurt her feelings.
They lie about everything even shit they do not need to lie about!
So THEY know lying is wrong and you lie when you want to do what???
They know damn well what they are doing and don’t think otherwise.
There is a difference between knowing and not caring,of course they know whatever that they are doing is wrong,but they simple don’t care,because they have no Empathy.
Why do you think they get furious or mad when they are called on their actions lies and manipulations by the victim??Because they know everything,and they continue with further more manipulations like gaslighting,stone walling,silent treatments,emotional withholding,projections etc.
Yes they know, that’s why they lie and try to hide everything bad they do. Now sure they might act like they’re stupid and don’t know that they weren’t suppose to do what they just did, but that helps them not be held accountable. If you pay attention to the lies and how they shape peoples ideas, as well as the crying and emotional outbursts to get out of things you see that yes they know exactly what they are doing, but just don’t care. the need to not be held accountable outweighs probably everything because being accountable removes them from their position of power.
Yes they definitely know what they are doing is wrong but they do not care. A NPD is incapable of ever loving and caring for another person. They also could care less about your feelings. This is because they lack emotional empathy. Your sole purpose in their life is to treat you like an “object” so they can feel good about themselves. It is a tragic and horrific experience to be tangled up in their convoluted web of emotional abuse, lies and deceit!
If any of you that believe that they don’t know and know all the time …you would certainly had changed your mind drastically if you had left a hidden cam …(they talk a little too much with themselves…)
They F*** KNOW and they plan way ahead wayyy ahead! Years AHEAD!
reason alone dictates clearly that they know, thats why they hide! And on the care part let me say Psychopaths/Sociopaths know good and bad and don’t care. If it benefits them they do it even it harms others without a care.
Narcs Know good and Bad and they absolutely ‘’care’’! They care alot to inflict harm on others, they plan it and enjoy it!! They will do it even if apparently it seems that it will harm them in some way too, because the enjoyment of the pain they cause is the goal!
Narcs are often the most sneakiest, vile, evil creatures you can ever have what you thought was a relationship with. I never had cognitive dissonance in any other relationship.
Narc’s past male friend came into the scene and narc acted like he had a new toy. Then when the new toy started showing me attention and mentioning he didnt like how i was treated…narc exploded. Ordered him out of the house. A few hours later, narc went over to friend’s place. Narc came back and said friend is gone. I have not seen that friend, nor has he answered calls from me or any one and did not report to work. Vanished!
Soon after, narc made a new friend and new toy act started again. I did a lot of watching and listening; gut feeling narc was having fantasies of developing something. Rages started happening more often with these new “toys” and then it became physical with threat of killing me.
Got an OP the next day and got him out of my house. Started googling some of his weird behaviors and it came up NPD. Found your site and others. Its helped me out a lot.
Discovered after breakup he was sneaking out in middle of night, was doing smear campaign against me and saw on his cell phone bill 20 calls in 1 day to last friend I think he was grooming him. Gender doesn’t matter. It was like living in a rabbit hole with all the craziness, i felt was going on. Stressed me out so much I had a heart attack 3 months b4 OP. Best thing I ever did was the OP. Thank you. these sites were my safety net out the rabbit hole.
The primary is the punching bag. Your narc is always on the lookout for new source of supply. There is absolutely no loyalty to you. you got this. Best way to learn your position is to be in a shared responsibility position i.e.start paying bills together.
I called the narc out on how fake he is around outsiders. That’s so deceitful and a person that cant be trusted. I dont care what the lil creature does anymore. Better to discard before they discard you. Keep your power! ??
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